Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
