Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I know her cup size but not her name....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
