she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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