I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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