No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
