Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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