are you still at the devil's house?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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