I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
COCAINE IS GR8
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize