I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
