the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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