if i died would you start the facebook group?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
