Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
