I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
