I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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