3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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