I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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