no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
