I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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