and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
