Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize