another moral hangover. fuck.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
