I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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