very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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