what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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