I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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