What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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