I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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