she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize