what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
