Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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