I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
