I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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