If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
