i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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