just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
