Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
