I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
