saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
