I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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