God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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