Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
