he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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