Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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