He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
