Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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