Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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