Sponge bath it is.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
