do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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