Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
