sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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