Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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