Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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