I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dicks are not precious.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
