My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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