I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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