is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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