Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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