Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
