I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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